How Does Internal Family Systems Help With Dysfunction?

Dysfunction can have a profound effect on our lives, and it’s normal to want to get rid of those thoughts or behaviors. But in order to do so, it’s not enough to identify our own dysfunctions. We need to figure out how to minimise those thoughts and behaviors. And that’s the hardest part.

A type of talk therapy that can help manage dysfunction is Internal Family Systems (IFS). It was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, and it’s based on the principle that the mind is divided into different parts. These parts all have their own personality and their own traits. Ideally, there would be a balance between all of them. When there isn’t, we experience dysfunction.

The Mind and Its Parts

An important part of the mind is what we call the Self. It’s different from other parts. It’s the core of our personality, and it only represents good things: our compassion, our confidence, our curiosity.

The other parts of the mind are all different, but they usually take on one of three different roles: exiles, managers, and firefighters.

Exiles are the wounded parts of the mind. They carry the negative beliefs we have about ourselves: feelings of worthlessness, of shame. They carry our fear and loneliness, and feelings such as emptiness. These beliefs are not true, but we feel like they are, and they’re at the root of much of our dysfunction.

Managers are planners and controllers. Their job is to prevent situations that remind exiles of their wounds, and they’re proactive in this endeavour. Of course, managers can be just as wounded as exiles and carry shame and anxiety.

Firefighters are protectors. Unlike managers, they are reactive. They step in whenever exiles are activated in spite of the managers’ best efforts and try to calm the wounds in any way possible. But firefighters are impulsive and don’t think of consequences. This means that sometimes, their ways of calming the wounded exiles are actually dysfunctional, and maybe even harmful.

When Parts Play a Role in Dysfunction

A core belief in IFS is that no part of your mind is bad. At the end of the day, all they’re doing is the best they can to protect you. But that doesn’t mean their ways of helping you aren’t dysfunctional.

Managers can go overboard and drown you in work, for example, as a way of preventing you from thinking about any wounds you carry. But work is hardly stress free, and it can sometimes add to the load you’re carrying.

As for firefighters, their ways to distract the exiles from their wounds can cause a lot of dysfunction. Since they are prone to engaging in risky behavior, such as binge drinking, their attempts to help can occasionally do more harm than good.

Dealing with Dysfunction

Healing comes from the Self. It’s the Self that takes on the role of mediator between all our parts and helps us restore balance. But in order to do that, we must go through the process of un-blending: separating the Self from the other parts of the mind.

The Self’s mediation is critical to our growth. It allows us to revisit and talk about difficult memories. It validates our hurt and our attempts at coping with our wounds, even if they turned out to be dysfunctional. After all, it was all done with the best of intentions.

IFS and Healing

While IFS therapy has been found to be effective in reducing the problems at the root of our dysfunction, we are the only ones who can decide whether this type of counseling is right for us. Sometimes, the best way to do that is to make an appointment and see for ourselves. That’s the first step in the path towards inner growth.